the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
