I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
