Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
