Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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