now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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