There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize