Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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