Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she looked like the before picture.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
