yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
