jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize