Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
