I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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