the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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