what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We are all done wearing pants today
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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