Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
