we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
