So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
