dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
