just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
