I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
