I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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