Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
