Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
