She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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