A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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