take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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