Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
