Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
