I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
