fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
