all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
