you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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