i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
