I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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