hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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