Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
