Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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