It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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