I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
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Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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