Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
