my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm too high and old for this...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
