I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize