brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
