How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
