She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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