We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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