thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have post one night stand depression
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
