just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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