Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
