Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize