a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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