i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
