Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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