walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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