she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize