She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
sex in a hospital.. check
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
