can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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