i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
