why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
